beach blues

Vacation at the beach during the winter isnt as glamorous as it may sound.
Perhaps its not the rainy weather or empty streets. Maybe its merely that I'm not vacation material. Relaxing, meditating and observing, they are all so difficult to do. Crazy how on one hand, during the semester we complain and dread our assignments and meetings. Yet on the other hand, on vacation do nothing seems just as torturous.

snow day thoughts.

At night.
The earth sparkles from moonlight.
As if a reflection of the stars.
Pure joy, to be eaten, thrown and dusted.
A kite
could not be higher
than our rusted
worries.

As it falls, they lift away out of sight.

Spring day

It's November. Can you believe that?
I'm glad that I've finally reached the top of the Semester mountain.
Everything seems so perfect today.
People are taking the long way to class, the sun is shining and the bikes racing past.
How wonderful.
Living in Minnesota is one of the main reasons why I hate the clod weather. But today I realized why I especially like the warm weather. Everyone is so comfortable. People are taking walks together, smiling, and glancing from the warm sun-filled windows. Professors are letting class out early, and students are organizing outdoor games.
Maybe God is giving us all a little good something because of all the little bad somethings going on. Today is a day we forget about swine flu, forget about the health care reform bill, a day we forget about the death penalty for children. We remember our friends our selves our happiness. Our warmth.
Maybe its not all a great day, but now I'm sure if tomorrow isnt like today I will not be in regret...
In fact I suddenly feel a chill.

goals

Only a few more days. Have you ever felt that your days were numbered. Maybe the night before you final exam, or the day before your cellphone bill was due. I hate this vacation time. I feel trapped and sufficated doing nothing.. My job is to eat and sleep twelve hours a day. I start to lose ambition and motivation. There are things to be done, but nothing is time sensitive. When I'm busy my day isnt run by the weather, like it is now. When something needed to get done I had to go out and do it rain or shine. Now I look outside and plan my day. Will I go by the lake, will we go to the beach, or will we watch a movie. It took me two days to get all of my hanging strings pulled once I got back from DC. I realize now how much stimulation and stress I need to maintain my health. I need alot. This fall I will be taking eighteen credits, be the ICAA president, fencing club, work study jobs, enviromental club, STI, and other things that I cant remember now. (Or dont want to). I'll be a senior, then what! How will I be next year at this same time. How will I keep myself just as busy as I will this fall. Last semester I would sleep 4-7 hours a night. I would complain that there werent enough hours in one day. I hope I will be active next year. I will volunteer and be a leader in my community. It might prove to be more challenging, but next year I will come back to this post and remember what I'm capable of.

I was reading my old posts and it seems like it all happened a few hours ago. My last post i guess i was pretty angry :). I was in washington dc all last week. I was soo happy there, it is one of my favorite cities. But this time it was different. I grew alot since my last visit, in fact if i could change my past, i would have liked to go to dc after alaska. in alaska i grew personally-within. in dc i grew outside-my image that i displayed in front of people. I think it would have been an easier way to mature, but life isnt made to be easy i guess. While in dc it was hard for me to adjust to the fast pace. The metro and its speed, the sidewalks and its characters. It was hard for me. The diversity of alaska was also missing. I missed seeing all the diversity.
I remember once i got off the plane my mentor called me. 'Remember your not in alaska anymore, you need more than bug spray.' Yeah dc is ruff, but to a young person its great. dc is for the youth and made by the older. alot of the important people-who are older-naturally-work and run the city. when city creates alot of stress, tention and anticipation that the youth squeeze out of at night. Clubs, cars and monuments.

He said "money isnt the problem, we can pull that. The task at hand is to let the important people aware of whats going to happen and have them comfortable with that.' I felt like a knife stabbed me in the heart. That was one of the most cruel things I have ever heard. The government and its officials seem to be able to scrape up thousands by ways I just dont understand. Such WASTE everywhere. We have money we have it all-we just dont know how to use it. I dont blame those officials pocketing millions they have seen the piles sitting around-firsthand. We have money- excuse me-I dont think that is a phrase you can say with a smirk. You should be ashamed and embarrassed to say that. Could you say that openly to an angry mob. If not find something or do something that you could talk about. Someone give me $5,000 dollars and see what amazing stuff I could do with it. We need to be more conscious and remember our constituants.

wow! the problem with blogging is that once you miss a few days its nearly impossible to catch up. From July 4th in Seward to this week its been crazy. on tuesday i was in nome. nome hosts the finish line for the famous Iditarod sled dog race. that day was wild we went mox ox searching-and found a pack! we saw a dead walrus, and we met some locals. there is this guy in nome that has a pet reindeer. for 8 years this reindeer would jump in the back of his pickup and ride around with him. we drove up to Tok which is 90mi. from canada. our lodgeings were these cute wooden cabins! the stay was unbelievable. then we drove up to chena hotsprings. there is a natural hotspring inside a resort. we had a fun time relaxing by the water and taking in some sun. we are staying in fairbanks-and i cant wait to leave :( fairbanks is noo fun, and very rundown. very rundown. its like the bad side of town, expcet the whole is city is bad.
Wish i could write more-sooooo much to tell and great pics to share later!